Carol Gray Kennedy

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/07/19/attention-disorders-can-take-a-toll-on-marriage/

Someone wise told me recently that we must be responsible for what we “take in” by digesting it, processing it, or cleansing it. Just like if we eat too much sugar, we might feel ill,….and our bodies have to detox,….we might have to detox after choosing the company of a foul person, or after listening to negativity in all its forms.

Sometimes we feel we have no choice about what ‘goes in’ us,…but many times it is our unconsciousness that allows the poisons of life to seep into our space. Think of how often we hear complaining and don’t leave the company of whom we are with. Think of the advertising and marketing that preys on our fears or feelings of not being enough.

The music we choose, the persons we call friends, the places we walk and work and live,…all are sending out information to us on a daily basis,..and yet, we rarely monitor such things with care.

Once we have taken in the food that upsets our stomach, the company that sours the day, or the responsibility that wasn’t ours,…we are responsible to process this and find our balance. Or not.

Obviously, it is a choice how we carry forth once exposed to the darknesses of life, but for health~it requires us to be mindful of all that is around us,…so that when we can find more positive influences, we do.

I’m often unhappy if I eat too much, because of the discomfort and consequences of this behavior, but this is actually easier to remedy than if I participate in a negative exchange with another person. That toxicity is, for me, the harder of the two to “digest”. Think about what it is for you that turns your energy to sludge~and know that it is okay to refuse such experiences. After all,…you are the one who will have to clear it out and rebalance yourself in the time to follow.

The biggest source of addiction and illness is the lack of intimacy with one’s spirit, or soul.

Having access to this part of ourselves is nurtured in our creative mind. When was the last time you felt tied to imagination in that glorious, open way of childhood?

Too soon in life, our imaginings are discounted, seen as unnecessary or silly, and we suppress this very essential passage to the creations of spirit. Society certainly encourages us to march blindly into the “norms” of our times. We can easily lose our original thoughts as we try to fit in.  I think one reason some of us enjoy watching children so much is that they show us that hidden world of expression and play that we shoved down deep inside of us.

Some of us have jobs that require creative thought or we problem solve from this more expansive part of our brain,…but when was the last time you lay on your back to watch clouds pass overhead and let your mind wander? What were the dreams you had when you were eight years old? Do you incorporate that self into your world now?

Do we even see our surroundings once we get used to them? Question the color on the wall? The arrangement of trinkets which mark our passage through space and time? Do we dare diverge in our thinking as we observe the world around us?

What is the dream for your self at this point in time? Is it more simplicity? Maybe an adventure? Perhaps it’s been a while since you met a new person who could help you feel your edges?

It’s too easy to lose the visionary inside of ourselves. Maybe finding a way to nurture that self will lead to a more fully realized and unique being that we are all capable of. In doing so, it may help all of us heal the parts of us longing to be expressed,…and we can forgive all the ways we let ourselves be made small in our journeys.

After all,…there really is only one you,….or one me,….and if it is not expressed in this place and time in all its potential,….that is a real shame. Dare to be all that you are, and see how much joy it can bring!

When your eyes are tired the world is tired also.

When your vision has gone no part of the world can find you.

Time to go into the dark where the night has eyes to recognize its own.

There you can be sure you are not beyond love.

The dark will be your womb tonight. The night will give you a horizon further than you can see.

You must learn one thing. You must learn one thing.

The world was made to be free in.

Give up on all other worlds except the one to which you belong.

Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet confinement of your aloneness to learn anything or anyone that does not bring you alive is too small for you.
— David Whyte

Dramatic and necessary changes are preceded by times of great chaos. Inner and outer changes are difficult, and often the only way we will take those challenging times upon ourselves is through a discomfort so great, there is no way out except to go through it.

These are great times to give up old and outdated habits, beliefs, and relationships. Nothing escapes scrutiny in times of great change. All seems novel as it is  sifted through an awakening mind; seen as though for the first time,…because it is a new time. It is a time to redefine and unload what no longer works in order to  take on the new.

Sometimes, we attempt to avoid such radical change, and that is where addiction and defenses step in as we try to blind ourselves from the intense emotions required to face upheaval. This can work for a while, but is not a long term solution. In addition, long term reliance on addiction or defenses can harm us in all areas of our lives, and in some cases kill us. The choice is to drown in this ‘pushing away’ or surface and meet the change and fresh air our spirit requires to thrive.

Not listening to the inner voice of wisdom requires great effort. I would argue it is almost easier to take on dramatic change than to fight months or years of our lives fending off the inevitable. It’s not like your higher, wiser self is going to change its mind. It’s just that we might not be listening through our distractions and defenses. When we wake up, the need is still there. The need is change.

What is required is an honest and courageous inventory of what is working and what is not. Which parts of our lives are no longer serving to help us grow and develop into our optimal selves? No-one else can define that self for any of us, but we often know it before we live it.

After confusion comes clarity and the steps needed to transform will be revealed to us. But first, we have to enter willingly into the unknown and listen to the voice which whispers, “Change“.